What happened to a day? Day Twenty seven disappeared.
Something strange happened to the blog I didn’t loose much as regard to what happened with my daily progress but lost a whole post about Horus, ho hum…
Been getting up very early, I have never slept more than three or four hours per night, I struggled to sleep last night I had a cry about the pictures in my mind, I still see Darren hugging Shell and saying goodbye as he left that day, the images are so vivid I can smell her perfume and hear the music that was playing in the background, I really have a huge amount of sensory acuity / imagination and after doing some listening exercises last night that included listening to different people snapping their fingers together whilst you sat with your eyes closed and guessed who did it, I confirmed that.
I must confess that I have really good eyes, I hear things others don’t, see things others ignore and sense people’s emotions and feelings, it is almost as if hiding your self from me makes it easier for me to read you.
The first few steps I have taken on self-studying NLP are going well and I honestly feel that helping people using my acute sense of perception just might be what I should have done anyway.
Everybody has skills mine are learning quickly adapting to situations, noticing the minutia and building the big picture from it.
I tried some reframing of the bad images and feelings by trying to change the voices to silly ones, turning the pictures black and white and making them smaller and more distant whilst putting something else in that storage area, if you will, it has worked although I did release some tears but I never got caught up in the emotions, just let it go.
Turbo time soon the juicing is still really helping me i can’t believe I never did that sooner, juicing has made me feel more vibrant and alive, I have a lot more brain and mind power and body-mind energy.
Still smoking a few cannabis cigarettes a day, I wish I could ease this neck, shoulder and spine pain, sometimes it drives me nuts, I still have not taken any medication what-so-ever but still feel like I have let my self down with the smoking as little as I am doing it at the moment it still bothers me that I was weak enough to do it.
Shell and I are doing okay I feel that we are healing together, I must admit she has been somewhat down the last few days, I have been up and down self-esteem wise and drop to crying on occasion.
Overall most of the time I can hold it all together and feel good that I am managing to carry on with day to day things and still keep a smile on my face, after all our kids are still with their Mum and Dad and every thing here is continuing on as normal as normal can be.
Got a confirmation via email today from the NLP Scholarship people to say that they have received my application and their board is in the process of reviewing it, ten days waiting time now how exciting!
The Venus Project, Paul McKenna and Richard Bandler are all in Florida, I love Florida not been there now for many years but have visited lots of it and would love to see more, I still have an American Indian Belt made of Buffalo Leather and a Pewter buckle that has the faces of a Cheif and brave adorned upon it, wow that brings back some great old times.
Time to go back to Florida me thinks, I wonder if The Venus Project needs any game designer volunteers?
It is 20:15 I have spent an hour or so laying on my back doing some mental muscle relaxation techniques, the agony in my shoulder blades is making me angry and frustrated, I had a headache earlier and was very worried it would turn into a migraine, thankfully I managed to calm myself down and lay and relax, I used noting to note my experiences and tried to be at one with the pain, do not change it or try to avoid it, let it be and it will fade.
What I need is physiotherapy and a programme of exercises that can retrain my muscles and strengthen them, I am going to the doctors on Thursday but expect to get know where as the NHS have no idea how to treat Fibromyalgia at all the pain clinics talk to you for a while and prescribe anti depressants, they do not consider a simple nutritional and exercise regime and even if they did the NHS simply does not offer that kind of treatment and only provides plasters.
They are not interested in curing people or preventive medicine, but the amount of profits and taxes that can be collected form pharmaceutical sales.
Loving Kindness, Loving Kindness, Loving Kindness, Namaste