Goodbye nightmares hello life!

The Nightmare

So I switch on the computer to find that the ex not only continues to terrorise me but is still in communication with her affair guy, yes she was daft enough to store it in a folder with my name on it, I didn’t go seeking it was simply open and on screen when I awoke the PC after a nightmare at about 3am this morning.

Upon speaking to her of course she denied it, please Shell be true to your self.

I feel relief although somewhat lied to, spirit has been screaming at me for months during my sleep, alarm bells.

At least now I can start the process of me keeping our home with the children and she can move out as I am unable to be any where near her and don’t think it is right that loose my home due to this, the levels of deceit that she implores even shocks me beyond all reality.

I’m in love with a very special woman and finally this situation comes to a conclusion and I can now finish the hard work I have been doing to heal my self with the help of many friends, for this I am eternally grateful, I just wish the children hadn’t suffered so much due to this.

Thank you Shell for all the lessons that you have given me, thank you for the strength I now possess, I wish you happiness and loving kindness, may you find the inner peace you so rightly deserve.

Now I smile as tonight I will sleep knowing that the nightmares will finally go away and I will peacefully transition to where my heart calls me.

Blessings, may God and the holy spirit guide me on my path so that I am true to myself, true to others and always walk my path my calling, that of healing, raising consciousness, vibration and ascension.
May I truly forgive both the antagonists and myself.

Namaste Stu.

Myofascial Pain Syndrome (MPS) And Fibromyalgia

Myofascial Pain Syndrome (MPS) And Fibromyalgia


“Many of those already suffering from the pain of fibromyalgia also suffer from myofascial pain syndrome. Myofascial pain syndrome is another form of chronic pain that can affect the entire body, particularly the face and jaw. Myofascial pain can add to the already annoying symptoms of fibromyalgia, and can contribute to disability and a poor quality of life if not diagnosed properly. If you think that you may be suffering from myofascial dysfunction, visit with your health care provider to discuss your treatment options.

What is Myofascial Pain Syndrome?

Myofascial syndrome is a pain disorder that affects the muscles and fascia throughout your body. Fascia is like a web that surrounds the bones, tissues, organs, and blood vessels throughout the body. Myofascial pain syndrome can attack and cause degeneration of certain areas of the fascia, resulting in chronic pain and a variety of other symptoms.

Pain usually originates in specific areas of the body, called myofascial trigger points (TrPs), which feel like tiny nodules under the skin. These trigger points commonly develop throughout the body, typically where the fascia comes into contact with a muscle.

Myofascial pain syndrome is a very common illness, and most people will develop at least one trigger point in their body at some point in their lives. The majority of these people will not develop severe symptoms and will be able to continue on with their normal routines. However, about 14% of the population will develop a chronic form of the syndrome, resulting in persistent pain and discomfort.

Myofascial pain disorder is very common in fibromyalgia sufferers. It was once thought that myofascial pain syndrome was actually a kind of fibromyalgia. However, this is now known not to be the case. It is possible to have both fibromyalgia and chronic myofascial syndrome, and therefore it is important to be diligent when analyzing your symptoms. If you notice myofascial syndrome symptoms, record them and report them to your doctor.

Signs and Symptoms of Myofascial Pain Syndrome:

The most common sign of myofascial pain is the presence of palpable trigger points in your muscles. Trigger points are areas of extreme tenderness and sensitivity, and usually form in bands of muscle underneath your skin. They are similar to the tender points caused by fibromyalgia, only trigger points can be felt beneath the skin. When touched, trigger points will produce pain and twitching in the muscles. Often, pain is felt in an area distinct from the trigger point that is actually affected – this is called referred pain.

The pain of myofascial syndrome is typically a dull ache, but can also produce a throbbing, stabbing, or burning sensation. Pain is often located in the jaw area, though any part of the body can be affected. One-third of myofascial pain sufferers report localized pain, while two-thirds report having pain all over their bodies.

Myofascial pain can also produce a variety of other symptoms, many of which may appear unrelated. These include:

* numbness in the extremities
* popping or clicking of the joints
* limited movement of joints, particularly the jaw
* muscle weakness (manifested in dropping things)
* migraine or headache
* disturbed sleep
* balance problems
* tinnitus and ear pain
* double vision or blurred vision
* problems with memory
* unexplained nausea, dizziness, and sweating

Aggravating Factors

Symptoms are often aggravated by specific factors. Stress and anxiety contribute to muscle tension and can irritate trigger points. Changes in the weather, including sudden coldness, high humidity, or extreme dryness can also exacerbate symptoms. Physical activity can also trigger symptoms.

Causes of Myofascial Pain Syndrome

There are numerous proposed causes of myofascial pain:

Muscle and Skeletal Problems:
The causes of myofascial pain dysfunction syndrome can be numerous and depend upon the individual. Generally, myofascial pain is caused by some sort of trauma to the muscles and skeleton in the body. Overworking of the muscles can cause damage to certain areas resulting in the development of a trigger point. Poor posture can also trigger myofascial pain in certain individuals. Skeletal abnormalities, such as having different sized feet, toes, or legs, can also contribute to the development of myofascial pains. Frequent exposure to cold weather may also increase the risk of developing chronic myofascial pain syndrome.

Chronic Fibromyalgia Pain:
People with fibromyalgia may get myofascial pain syndrome as a result of their fibromyalgia pain. Compensating for pain can often cause reduced movement or an unhealthy posture, leading to the formation of trigger points. The severe pain caused by fibromyalgia also causes muscle contractions around tender points, referred to as guarding. Eventually these muscle contractions cause trigger points to form in addition to the tender points of fibromyalgia.

Depression Associated with Fibromyalgia:
The depression associated with fibromyalgia may also cause myofascial pain to develop. At least 30% of fibromyalgia patients suffer from depression, which causes low levels of serotonin in the brain. Serotonin is a neurotransmitter responsible for regulating mood and pain in the body. Depression may interfere with the process of regulating pain, causing MPS.

Effects of MPS on Fibromyalgia:

Having both myofascial pain syndrome and fibromyalgia can be quite trying at times. Symptoms of MPS and fibromyalgia are very similar, making it difficult for medical professionals to properly diagnose many people. Without proper diagnosis, a patient may not receive appropriate treatment, causing his or her symptoms to become even worse. In addition, myofascial pain can often contribute to the pain caused by fibromyalgia, making life much more difficult to enjoy.


Easy Home Remedies for Fibromyalgia Pain


There are many approaches taken toward the treatment fibromyalgia, ranging from pharmaceutical medicines to food elimination to sleep therapies to acupuncture and massage. They range in cost as much as they range in effect. Of course, everyone is interested in convenience and savings, but there are sufferers of fibromyalgia who would pay their last dime for even a little temporary relief.

Thankfully, there are some effective home remedies for alleviating fibromyalgia pain that make living with the condition at least a little more manageable. These remedies for reduction fibromyalgia aches and pains are advantageous because they do not come with any of the adverse side effects of pharmaceutical medications, and they can be applied in the convenience and privacy of home, using ingredients you find at your favorite supermarket, or that you may already have in your pantry.

Honey & Lemon

Not only are they tasty food ingredients, but they seem to possess a special set of healing properties all their own. One sweet and one tart, mixed together in warm water they make a delicious, soothing concoction. This mixture is thought to be effective against fibromyalgia pain because honey has a high amount of potassium.

Warm Vinegar Massage

The presence of vinegar is unmistakable when it is right under your nose. Its aroma is not nearly as subtle as the potential it has to alleviate joint and muscle pain from fibromyalgia. Warm approximately two cups of vinegar and gently massage it where you feel pain gathering in your muscles and joints. Vinegar has already been used for generations to treat persistent pain in joints and muscles, though it isn’t always the first remedy that comes to mind because, remarkably, it is so easy to access.



Curcumin, also called turmeric, is known for its anti-inflammatory properties that lend to the treatment of fibromyalgia pain. For a sweet and spicy indulgence just before bedtime, throw a dash of turmeric powder into a glass of cold milk and enjoy! Its anti-inflammatory and anti-oxidant agents will help you minimize muscle discomfort and rest well in the night.

Alkalize Your Body

Employ the right use of the right foods to adjust the alkaline in your blood back to a healthy level and ultimately reduce pain levels. Using organic cider vinegar, fresh lemons and lemon juice, cream of tartar and fresh, tart cherry juice in your recipes will help.


Make teas from dandelion, red clover and burdock roots to help cleanse your bloodstream and boost your immune system. For the best results, you should drink four to six cups each day. For fibromyalgia related depression, St. John’s wort is an herb supplement that has shown itself to be effectively uplifting when used regularly.

Essential Oils

Use a pleasant, soothing mixture of panaway and wintergreen oils to massage away the pain of fibromyalgia from muscles and joints.



Simmer fresh, ripe cherries in a mixture of butter and unrefined brown sugar from tree sap. Start by melting 2 to 3 tablespoons of butter, careful not to scorch it, to a liquid. Add 10 to 12 ripe cherries, and as they start to caramelize, add 2 to 3 tablespoons of the brown sugar and simmer until the mixture is golden brown. It’s almost too sweet to endure!

For variation—or just to level out the sweetness—separately prepare 4 or 5 tablespoons of oatmeal with milk instead of water. As the oatmeal nears completion, add the cherry mixture and boil together a minute or two.

Radish & Cranberry Juices

Radish and cranberry juices, though stout, offer effective relief of fibromyalgia muscular pain.


Raw papaya is another anti-inflammatory food that will help minimize fibromyalgia pain. For an interesting variation, make a tea using 8 to 10 ground papaya seeds boiled in a cup of water. Then, simply strain and enjoy!


Consume 2 to 3 teaspoons of ginger juice to alleviate fibromyalgia achiness. What’s better? Soak your body in a warm bath drawn with 4 to 5 ounces of ground ginger powder.

How Else Can I Tackle Fibromyalgia From Home?

While we know about some effective—and sometimes delicious—home remedies for managing fibromyalgia pain, an equally important method of management is found in knowing how to avoid aggravating the symptoms to begin with. Counteractive methods can be somewhat effective, but preventative measures are an even better way to minimize fibromyalgia aches and pains.

Avoid Anything Enriched or Refined

Abstain from salt, white sugar and white flour as much as you possibly can. There are more far reaching health benefits to this idea than merely minimizing fibromyalgia achiness. But don’t do without sweetness altogether! Substitute unrefined brown sugar or raw cane sugar for refined white sugar and enjoy them in moderation.  Substitute whole grain flour for enriched white flour and avoid yeasts altogether! Try seasoning your foods with spicy accents like pepper, cumin or turmeric and avoid salt as much as you can.

Take time to De-Stress

You already know that tiredness and chronic fatigue over time will take its toll on you. Know when to step away from work and home responsibilities, and dedicate time to yourself regularly to meditate and unwind.

Exercise Regularly & Rest Well

Starting even a light exercise regime, at first, is difficult because it requires you to face up to the pain head on. Walking, aerobic exercise and yoga are actually very effective ways to decrease fibromyalgia pain over time. They are not quick fixes for immediate relief, but like the effort, the results are long lasting.

Equal in importance is getting enough bodily rest and restorative sleep. It is not always an easy feat, as sleep deprivation is a common symptom of fibromyalgia to begin with. Do your best to develop healthy sleeping habits, like going to bed early every night and getting out of bed at the same time every day. Adequate rest is crucial to your ability to manage your fibromyalgia. If necessary, consider seeing a professional who can help you learn and develop healthy sleeping habits.

Re-Blogged from

#OtwaySmith #Fibromyalgia

I only feel loved by strangers

As family and friends.
Try to make amends of frivolous frustrations.
My pen, my scribe.
I fear, I hide.
Feelings of condemnation.

A simply note of gratitude
Was all that it would take.
To make me feel worthy.
To live another day.

Unusual and surprising.
Your comments knock me back.
Why do I exist in someones mind?
It’s only chilling and black.

Is it that you can feel my pain.
From across the seas? Or poor you?
Wrapped in empathy.
Do you just pity disease?

I only feel loved by strangers.
As odd as that does sound
But if not for you.
I’d bury my head deep beneath the ground!

Although I do not know you.
I really must implore.
Your loving kindness surrounds me.
I admit, a feeling I adore.

Unpleasant sensations filling up my head.
Worsened by the night when its time for bed.
A hand of love grasps me.
It holds me close and tight.

Thank you fellow bloggers.
I rest easier tonight.
I don’t know how to say this.
But always know its true.

If not for fellow bloggers.
I know not what I would do.
Many thanks I give you freely.
My arms held wide open to you.

Thank you, fellow bloggers for all of your support and kind heart felt comments, caring is only about being there when someone needs them even if that someones a stranger and a million miles away.

Namaste friends, may all your days be filled with genuine loving kindness and joyous harmony, may your lives be free from enmity of mind and body, may you be free from pain and anguish.

Thank you for your gifts of caring, loving light.

By Stuart Otway-Smith

Spasm Chasm


Deep within a dark dank place, hidden from the human race.

I sit.

I feel alone.

The pain is deep and winding.
My muscles ache and twitch.
No drugs flow through my veins.
If they did, they’d only make me itch.

These oddities often manifest, quite simply on their own.

My legs are locked, my arms are torn, it even hurts to smile.
A locked jaw, I want no more, I’m no longer mobile.
A sudden jerk of pre convulsion, pain of mind without emotion.
A limb, my face, but no trace, left for anyone to see.

The abyss of fibres rip, without sound, people pass by unnoticeably.

The Spasm Chasm I not implore, consumes all of my being.
Although I feel it deep within, it’s not for all, too seeing!
On my own, I sit at home, without choice or empathy.
I really want this to end, it’s been like this days.

When will it end?
Will I mend?

My body, convolutes, a random dance.

Confusion of verse betrays me, Fibro Fog, belated me.

The mountain of stairs, not that there’s many, is simply to hard to climb.
It’s times like these that make me ache, with throbbing and pulsation.
Pins like bladed needles walk my back, where art though compassion oh great creator.
My words like medicine heal my soul, the Spasm Chasm has its hold.

This verse, full of gaping, nonsensical confusion.
This is how the Spasm Chasm consumes you!

My world, its illusion.

By Stuart Otway-Smith

An attempt to describe in poetry what Muscle Spasms feel like, a symptom of Fibromyalgia / Chronic Pain Syndrome.

National Fibromyalgia & Chronic Pain Association
Mark the date for May 12 National Fibromyalgia Awareness Day!

Holding on to resentment is like holding your breath, You will begin to suffocate, learn to forgive!

Holding on to resentment is like holding your breath, You will begin to suffocate, learn to forgive!

Holding on to resentment is like holding your breath, You will begin to suffocate, learn to forgive!

10 Reasons To Increase Fibromyalgia Awareness

10 Reasons To Increase Fibromyalgia Awareness

by Purple Law Lady

Fibromyalgia Awareness Day May 12th 2012

  1. As we all know, it takes some people years and years to find out what is wrong and finally be diagnosed. If everyone knew all about fibromyalgia, then people could be diagnosed earlier. There would be  less of those depressing years of searching for answers.
  2. Sufferers will feel less alone – they will see posters and information booklets EVERYWHERE, giving them tips on how to cope.
  3. Doctors will become more interested in our condition and start investigating (and keeping up to date with) the newest medications and treatments, rather than ‘It’s Fibromyalgia – there’s nothing I can do.’
  4. Medical researchers and scientists will be more interested in finding a cure! Nobody wants to spend their time looking for a cure for something that no-one has heard of, they all want to cure the illnesses that people know about!
  5. We will no longer have to answer questions such as ‘Fibro-my-WHAT?’, ‘Fibromyalgia? What on Earth is that?’ or ‘Is that even real?’ No more long difficult explanations of the never-ending symptoms.
  6. People may even become more understanding! Relatives and friends will understand why you don’t feel up to partying. Employers understand why you have limitations and will be able to give you suitable arrangements because they will know what they are dealing with.
  7. Advertising companies will realise that there are a LOT of us and will design fibro-friendly products such as ride-on vacuum cleaners, ergonomically designed car seats, etc.
  8. More support groups will be formed as a result of more people realising that they have fibromyalgia.
  9. More people will donate money to research to find new treatments and… dare I say it… maybe even a cure!
  10. Because it makes you feel good about yourself!! You aren’t just doing this for yourself; we are doing this as a TEAM EFFORT! We need to reach as many people as possible to make this a success.

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Fibro Haze

#Fibro - Awareness Day

Fibro Haze

Once again, I spend my days, floating in a fibro haze.
My minds a mess, my thoughts a vapour, I can hardly put pen to paper.
An indistinct or billowing mass, my heads in the clouds again; Alas!
A transparent word, not rude nor absurd, gives rise to a frowning aggravation.

Once again, I spend my days, floating in a fibro haze.
Vague, indistinct, is that right, I’m sure; I think?
Obscure thoughts fog my mind, until the perceived I suddenly remind.
Misunderstood flushes of trance, a waking sleep of sleight of hand!

Once again, I spend my days, floating in a fibro haze.
Withered and torn, wish not I was born, especially in the winter.
On a cold day, please go away, or I am likely to eat ya!
It’s not that I hate you, it’s not that I don’t care, it’s more like my mind, just isn’t there.

Once again, I spend my days, floating in a fibro haze.
Running on empty, without any diesel, that’s not an excuse for hurting people.
And why do you sit there, hating yourself, does not your family, not give you self wealth?
It’s cold out here, it’s dark and it’s lonely, it wouldn’t be so bad, if someone would hold me.

By Stuart Otway-Smith

An attempt to describe in poetry what Fibro Fog feels like, a symptom of Fibromyalgia / Chronic Pain Syndrome.

National Fibromyalgia & Chronic Pain Association
Mark the date for May 12 National Fibromyalgia Awareness Day! Registered & Protected

Day Fifty:


Got up late again today I was up last night really late, Zen you bugger keeping me up chatting all night, hugs, my creative juices where flowing and I banged out a number of pieces all in one night, none where pre written and I have no idea where it all came from, sometimes I surprise my self as the words are deep and meaningful at least to me.


Ring! Ring! telephone sings!
It is the housing officer to inform us that we are going to be moving into a more permanent house on the 27th of May how thrilling.


Shell suddenly got up for no apparent reason said nothing and went upstairs I guess she went to lie down I wonder why she didn’t say anything? I do not remember saying or doing anything wrong for days….

Probably nothing to worry about we have had a couple or three perfect days other than me crying now and then.

Except for my poems =/

Sorry if what I write pains you my love, better out than in is all I can say, and that I hope you know I love you so very much.


Wow I was hungry just cooked my self a bacon sandwich on tiger bread with brown sauce, yum yum, yes I know it’s bad for me but it tastes sooooo good.


Shell and Nan have gone shopping, with the wonderful news we have had today, it’s really been a blessing.
What a day beautifully brilliant and joyous, thank you to everyone that read my posts, I appreciate your efforts.

You know sometimes you just have to roll the dice, take a chance in life and just say FUCK IT!
If you’re reading this and have something burning inside you and your itching to let it out, in the words of NIKE “just do it!”.
As a dear fellow blogger said to me.

Go with the writing. The right people FOR YOU will stick around. Fear not. Go with it. As time goes on, the fear gets less, very slowly, yes, but then you will learn to be more confident and assertive and those hard feelings, the self-judgment, will dissipate.


I urge you to do the same, follow your heart, let go of the fear and flow.

TTFN, Stu.

Dr. Steven Yen on Fibromyalgia Trigger Points (Interview)

Dr. Steven Yen on Fibromyalgia Trigger Points (Interview)

Dr. Steven Yen of Natural Fibromyalgia Treatments explains what fibromyalgia trigger points are, and some of the ways these can be treated.

Dr. Steven Yen has been treating fibromyalgia naturally, without the use of drugs or surgery for patients in his private practice since 2002.

Natural Fibromyalgia Treatment blog:

More about Dr. Yen:…

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Other FREE Pain Relief resources:

Fibromyalgia Awareness

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